Bitten By A Tiger

Well everyone, I took the Tiger plunge. I had a pretty interesting day though.

I went out about noon, to answer a final notice for jury selection. This should have been the 1^st form, because I never got the others.

Then I trooped over to the Child Support office in the old DMV. I owe arrears, which I will not be paying anytime soon because I don't have funds flowing like that. I am paying child support for a kid that I see nearly everyday. In fact, he's with me more than he is "home." Anyhow, it was ordered to reimburse Welfare. Not necessary at all.

It took me like four (4) years to find this office and I probably lucked up, because the responsible entity changed recently to the Department of Social Services (Welfare). A friend of mine told me where to go. I was able to track down a number once upon a time, but either the phone would ring out, I was put on hold until my phone died or I'd get through and get hung up on.

Up until then the day was going pretty quickly. I didn't mention that M!ck3y was with me for the ride and in case it took all day she'd be there to keep me awake. From the Child Support office we took a long bus ride to Kings Plaza Shopping center, from here on "KP," which was completely pointless. Not only could I not find what I went there for, I forgot my money and couldn't even eat. After getting laughed at, we got back on the bus.

Made a quick stop at the junction and got four (4) cheese burgers from White Castle. When I got home I continued to back up my stuff.

No one wanted to go to the Apple Store with me. Finally Daivon decided he would go with me. We had to wait on line. I must say, the girls buying "computer stuff," were so much prettier this year. I mean the ones waiting on the Tiger line, I have seen some real gems come in and out of the store.

They were giving out "Scratch and Win" cards and no sooner than I walked in a guy with an OS X tatoo on the back of his neck won a new G4 Powerbook. He was like two (2) heads in front of me.

I decided to go with a clean install. So I'm organizing the files from my previous backups.

This my favorite widget so far. This screen capture was taken about 7pm today. It's my favorite because it's the one I'm getting the most use out of, aside from the iTunes Widget. Ha! I'm listening to Staind right now.

Anyway, I have some cleaning to do and I'm watching "Marvel's Man–Thing" on Sci Fi. 

Tiger Unleashed?

I'm Thinking about a Tiger this weekend.

Reconnecting

Yesterday was my mom's birthday. Happy Birthday, Mother! 

I just had a thought: What is it when a company punishes it's employees for being in line with it's mission statement and goals?

I just spoke to my former Assistant Manager, Danny. He seemed well. It's obvious, however, that I am not the only one who has gone through stuff over the last year. I mean, I knew this, but to hear his tale.

Even after the horrors we experienced at Kinko's, there seems to be no rest. He was terminated unjustly one (1) day before he was to go on vacation and took a job with the competition for much less than he was making. Then he was suspended and transferred by a manager that blamed him for getting demoted. He remains optimistic though. He wants to go back to school and get his Real Estates license.

We decided we were going to try to reconnect with our team–members. Well I really haven't decided whether or not I really want to though.

We learned, for sure, at Kinko's, how to slit each other's throats and the ones that would not participate in this slaughter were punished. It seemed that some of the managers were jealous that some of us had the loyalty of our team–members, unless they had our allegiance. Some of us are loyal to money, others to people… Where do your loyalties lie?

Enlightenment: Day 1 & 2

Eddie Traversa made a comment to my post, Seeking Enlightenment.

It's been two (2) days since the challenge began. So far I've learned that I am pretty objective. I generally keep to myself. I tend to notice things, because I don't take an active role in peoples lives, I am like a watcher.

My world is small anyway. I have few people in my sphere to observe and so many of them try to appease me on different levels, sometimes it't hard to know what their true agendas are.

I did find, however, over the last few days, that I am not the only screwed up individual. Some are worse than others. For me the ones that interest me the most are the ones who go thru great lengths to hide their flaws. I have always been the person to "Just do it." When there is something wrong, I will not bother with it until I can fix it. I assess my situation and my means to achieve my end. For instance, my job situation… I did not just let it beat me, I made a little money freelancing which I am putting into my cause. Since I have bigger goals, I can not stop. I will work a regular job and continue freelancing until I get to where I want to be. So few people do that, well at least of the people I know. I get upset when someone I love gives up on what they want, what they need and themselves. I am learning to accept this and move on.

"I" am enlightenment 4/20

How About Now?

This was originally posted by Eddie Traversa on his blog.

Whatever your life situation is, how would you feel if you completely accepted it as it is, right at this very moment?

Déon/Reign

This is some more stuff from 2000. One person commented that it was self–centered.

Déon–

means divine. It also has roots in Dionysus, the greek god of wine.

I am Déon. I am 24 years old and a native of Brooklyn, New York.

I am an intelligent and well grounded individual, looking to spread my wings and soar as high as possible. I believe in life's endless possibilities and that the only limits that we have are the ones we impose on ourselves.

I am normally shy, for a leo anyway. These days I'm experiencing a surge of aggression. I've been described as "dramatic" and "profound." I am also thought of as very mature for my age, but I'm really a little boy thirsting for sensations. Swift, is my tongue. That is to say that I know all the right words. It has been said I "got game."

Reaching

Son cœur est un luth suspendu;
Sitôt qu'on le touché il résonne.

(His heart is a hanging lute;
As soon as touched, it reverberates.)

De Béranger

I have reached a level of thought where I choose to concentrate on what's right about people instead of what's wrong. It is important to develop strengths, so that the weaknesses have less of an impact.

I've recently arrived at a stage in my life where I fell the need to improve every aspect of my life.

• Trying to broaden my mind by reading more.
• I realize that I have choices and that any consequences I experience are results of those choices.
• I accept the fact that I am responsible for my life and the course it runs.

I am learning a lot about myself and the world around me, new lessons from my original mistakes.

I'm not perfect, but I'm willing to try and find out if perfection is an attainable height.

The Other Me

I received the name "King" from my gym teacher in High School. My friends translated it to Reign. I found out later that I had a lot of admirers.

Reign–

royal authority; the dominion, sway, or influence of one resembling a monarch.

The wind blows… The sky darkens… I speak, "BOOM." Witness the lightning in my stare. The darkness, it envelopes me. I feel it's cold embrace.

Loneliness is my only companion. It feeds on the love I have to share.

I will feast on your body as a caterpillar does a leaf. Then I will spin a crystallis and fly out something you want.

Her

I wrote this in about 2000. I've been finding that a lot of people have been asking about my old homepage. I decided to reformat some of the content for "Dramatizations." Aside from the markup, it will appear as it originally did.

What I'm looking for is…

…is a woman who knows what she wants. Someone to be my friend always. Someone who hasn't any inhibitions, but who has enough sense to know her limits. A lady. One who can motivate me to reach for the stars, like the ones in her eyes.

Mouthful of Poison: Ripe?

Things growing are not ripe until their season,
So I, being young, till now ripe not to reason.
And, touching now the point of human skill,
Reason becomes the marshal to my will,
And leads me to your eyes, where I o'erlook
Love's stories written in love's richest book.

A Midsummer Night's Dream by William Shakespeare

I am always asked what it is I like. Let me start by saying, I love everything that makes a woman, a woman.

• Her hair, whether it be short or long, curly or strait…
• Her lips, full and rich… the way they taste, the way she sucks on mine or my earlobe.
• The scent of her neck. The emotion evoked when I get close and breath on it or kiss it.
• A supple pair of breasts cupped gently in my hands. Rubbing her nipples 'til they're rigid. Making circles around them with my tongue or sucking them.
• The way her body curves, her waist into her hips into her thighs. I like 'em thick in the middle. There are few pleasures as great as a pair of thighs wrapped… ummmmm, maybe too much information (but you get the picture, don't you?).
• The way she makes her booty go "dunta, dunta."
• Feet. Small, smooth, clean. Well, uh, I like to play with 'em.

To me, the most important outward features are her eyes and her smile.

• A nice smile warms a cold heart. Confident and sincere. Soft and seductive.
• Back to the stars in her eyes… I don't feel there is any greater beauty on our plane of existence.

I need someone I can mesh with mentally. She has to have goals and values. Someone whose going to be an extra incentive to waking up in the morning and a reward for coming home at night.

All things coming together are woman. From her heavenly gaze to the sway of her hips.

Fate

I don't remember where this came from, maybe it was me, maybe someone else. It was on my personal page.

Be prepared for the unexpected.
Concentrate, mind and body as one.
Achieve tranquility through movement.
Integrate spirit and flesh.
Channel the powers; focus the mind.

Cleanse the soul.
Release that which is negative.
Separate darkness and light.

Give birth to myself — once through knowledge.
Define my existence — once through emotion.
Create my divination — one with the heavens.

From strength learn gentleness.
Through gentleness, strength will prevail.

What is it I see just beyond my reach?
I see my fate!

When It Hurt So Bad (2000)

This was a friend's way of expressing her affection towards me. It was a long time ago and I knew her only briefly. I remember the long, late night talks, her almond–shaped eyes, the fullness of her lips, the way her hips swayed when she tried to get my attention and all her wonderful curves.

I’ve loved real hard ones,
But the love wasn’t returned.
Found out the man I’d die for,
He wasn’t concerned.
I tried, and I tried, and I tried
To keep him in my life.
I cried and I cried
But I couldn’t make it right.

But I loved a young man,
And if u ever been in love
Than you’ll understand.
What you want might make you cry,
And what you need might pass you by

What you need ironically might turn out
What you want to be, if you just let it

See I thought this feeling
It was all that I had
But how could this be love
And make me feel so bad
Gave all my power,
I existed for you
But who ever knew
The voodoo you do

When it hurt so bad, why does it feel so good?(sic)

From Jen (02/2005)

This was sent to me by a long time friend, Jen. She can write, I think she should be published.

Good night, sweet prince. I shall weep at your departure. I have searched for you all of my life. I have checked under subway benches and bus stops. I have played peekaboo against abandoned building waiting to catch a glimpse of your shadow. I’ve jumped inside barren trenches and gone underground on the slight chance that you were sharing living quarters wih the ground hog.

I have climbed rooftops and scaled high-rises in search of you. I have simmered in seedy clubs and bathed in bad associations because I truly believed you were there - I just thought you were scared and hiding.

I have jeopardized myself chasing trains that I thought you had boarded. I’ve grabbed the tail end of planes, fearing you may have landed and taken off before you found me. I have traveled the globe in hopes I would recognize your face and then I have gone back again fearful that I missed you the first time around.

I have peered through eyeglasses,looking glasses and magnifying glasses searching for your foot prints.I have even enlisted the help of physics to convince me you exist.

I have gazed into the eyes of other womens husbands and boyfriends wondering “Could it be you?” And I wondered if you had missed me all together be accident. I have traced steps on cemetery grounds on morbid days believing you have already come and gone, and would never come again and thought perhaps THAT was the real reason for your no-show status

I’ve stolen peeks through picture windows at dinner time staring at the back of his head, and his head, begging you to JUST TURN AROUND.

I have pulled double duty at bridal showers and weddings. Standing up for her and in for the other. I have watched ever one I know celebrate the arrival of her prince, every one but me.

Good night, sweet prince I shall weep at youe departure. If you came, I didnt see you. If you spoke, I didnt hear you. And if you loved me once upon a time,I guess I didnt love you back the same.

Good night sweet prince.
Good night.
It’s time for me to move on with my life and experience an new day.
A real day.
My first day with out craving you (sic)

OK!

M!ck3y said, "I've been coming to see you so often because I'm going to be gone for a whole week and you're gonna forget me." Isn't that cute?

On a more serious note, I went and signed the papers today. It seems like I'll be working soon. I can't seem to remember the name of the company. I know it's US Trust, but there is a better known name.

Updated Saturday, April 23, 2005

The more familiar name of the company is Charles Schwab & Co.

A Job

I should have the one month assignment. I was approved pending a background check and some papers I have to sign tomorrow. The background check should be OK unless it includes a credit check, let's hope it doesn't hold too much weight.

I've been out of work for nine months and around February I found I couldn't keep up with my bills. With a job I should be able to pick up, don't you think?

Seeking Enlightenment

Nice Guys and Violent Lunches

Can we really read people? I am usually a good judge of character, I mean I've been striking out lately. People have a different view of things than I do. My views are more idealistic. So I don't associate myself with many people. I just find it's easier that way, sometimes.

Anyway, I've been reading blogs for about four (4) years. The first blog I was introduced to was Jeff Rouyer's, formerly "Nirvana," if I remember correctly. Then, I happen upon Eddie Traversa's.

Eddie has a new blog "I" am enlightenment. He made a challenge to a friend of his:

Look at people for a week and try not to form concepts about them. Just let them be, don't label them, don't judge them, just see them

I will be starting the challenge on Sunday. I need to find my way back to the "Road to Enlightenment." I will try to post what I learn next week.

Just a lil' POed

M!ck3y got beat up again , she bit me (my nephew leaves bigger bite marks) then she pissed me off — just a lil' tho. 

Browsers

I can say without a doubt that my blog does not work in the Mac IE 5.2.3 and Netscape Communicator 4.77 for Mac, but it works, not quite as intended in Mac IE 5.0. It also works in Opera 7.54. It looks good in Camino 8.3. It obviously works in Firefox. I did not test it in the pay browsers.

Updated Saturday, April 23, 2005

Ooops, I forgot about Safari. Thanks Anonymous.

Since Monday, April 18th

Today, I ran into someone I've known for about sixteen (16) years. Seeing as though I'm only twenty-eight (28), that is more than half my life. Her people didn't believe that I am only a year or two younger than her. I spent about an hour getting flirted with by like three (3) females, including the someone. She said she didn't know I was so pretty.

After that I saw the baddest female, well for today anyway. She was wearing a gray striped shirt and a tight gray skirt. Everyone was checking her out. One guy even got slapped by his girl because he kept turning around to see, and his girl wasn't half bad herself, because after the former was out of site my attention was held by his girl.

Did I mention I love spring?

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

My Girls

My homegirls have been holding me down. They've been making me feel so special. Thank you guys. One of you in particular, I long to hear you call me "Baby."

Jobs

A friend of mine called in a "business favor," whatever that means for a colleague to grant me an interview. Doesn't mean I got the job, but the whole favor thing puts mad pressure on me. I was offered to sit in for someone who's on disability through Ajilon Office. It should go on for at least a month. I wonder if I take this one will the other opportunity be available when the assignment is over.

Monday, April 18, 2005

Mergers and Acquisitions

AT&T has long been devoured by Cingular, now just Cingular with some references to the former AT&T. Nextel is now the property of Sprint, the combined company will be Sprint Nextel.

But did you guys hear, Adobe is acquiring Macromedia? I heard about a year ago that Macromedia was going to someone, the rumor was Microsoft was buying it. This made me was not good for me, because I'm just not into Microsoft. I like Office 2004 and that's about it. I mean they have other technologies I'll be looking into and more than likely using.

Anyway, back to the Adobe Macromedia thing. This is great because the two (2) graphics powerhouses have joined. If I had to do any artwork, I'd go to one or the other. Considering the quality of applications they've been putting out I can't wait to see what comes next.

Imagine a new app with all of the strengths and none of the weaknesses. Maybe as soon as Adobe CS 3 or will it be called Creative Studio. Imagine Photoshop and Illustrator being bundled with Flash Professional and all of the all of the graphics imported from AI show up as intended. Can you imagine the level of detail that could be achieved in Flash sites not that there is anything wrong with them now. I am barely a Flash beginner and I see stuff all the time that makes me say "WOW!"

M!ck3y

This girl is mad strong. She came to visit me and my brothers on Monday and we had a wrestling match. I'm mad sore.

Kojak 04/17

LOL! last night on Kojak, Ving Rhames walked into the interrogation room with a baseball bat and offered it to Kevin (I think his name was). Kojak said as he held the bat out to him "I am going to ask you some questions, if you choose not to answer a question you can hit me with the bat.". Ving was like take it. Kevin took it and Kojak said "Oh yeah, I have to tell you... If you don't knock me out, I can beat your ass... Please don't answer this one." 

My Favorite Girl

This is Nicky, my favorite girl. Nicky is 4'11", 110lb and all fire. She's the closest female to me. We've been very close ever since we met last summer.

When she came around yesterday, all the bum ass fuckers around here were trying to holla. Then when they saw she was coming to visit me, you could see the hate oozing of their faces.

Look at the pretty smile. I missed her sooo much and she came to see me with mad smiles.

She was like damn, WTF is up with all the pictures. I don't get to see her as often as I'd like so I couldn't resist.

Here is a bit of teasing.

Some more teasing. Check the booty. There are so many curves you might get motion sickness.

Sticking her tongue out, isn't she cute. 

All you ugly ass, weave wearing, bootleg ass, no good broads... envy her. Y'all don't have anything on her. This is just one more you will never be able to touch.

Why is it the people I love seem not to like to see me smile?

4/11-4/15

I closed out a really good week. It was great considering how things have been going for me lately.

First off, I've made more money in the last 30 days than I've made the first 2½ months of the year. I haven't made much. In fact, if I make every month what I've made this year so far, I will probably make it to the poverty line. This is, however, a step in the right direction.

I'm not sure if I ever mentioned it, but I spent most of the winter indoors and put on quite a bit of weight. When I go somewhere I get excited. This is pathetic, I know. I did not have a coat this winter. Now I really don't have an excuse not to go out.

Anyway, on Tuesday, April 12, I had a one day assignment. This was the highlight of my week.

I started talking to Cyn again, like last week. She was supposed to be visiting me this week. In fact, up until Thursday, she was coming. She called me Thursday evening and told me she was eating, asked if I was hungry and said she'd take "car service" to my crib. Then she calls back about ½ hour later, saying her mother passed out and that she had to go to the hospital. That was our last contact. I called a few times and left a few voicemails to see how she was doing, she never answered. This is typical of her. She makes plans to come over and backs out last minute. Not sure why, we've already done the deed. It might not happen again, I'm just not feeling her like that anymore.

My only disappointment came when I went to Sears last night to see that wonderful smile that's been warming my heart for the last few weeks. She wasn't there, she had gone home before I got there.

In all, I had a good week. I had my lows, but a lot more highs. Anyhow, I ended it with a smile. I guess, today, I'm getting back to basics. I will probably spend the day alone, in reflection.