Sunday, December 31, 2006

2006 in Review

OK, this is going to be long, so I have to break it up into pieces. It's been a great year. Started off quite rocky though.

Maybe it might not be as long as I thought. I will attempt to resist the urge to ramble.

I started the year alone, with no job and no hope. I was conned at the beginning of the year to the tune of about 12G, which I am in the process of paying off now. I applied for "Welfare" in January — Call it what you want, Welfare is still Welfare, the thought of it still makes me physically sick.

I met some people, some people came back into my life, some left temporarily, some for good… BYE! Can you see me waving? Some of you preach friendship but really, you're just full of shit.

Love, yeah, I am a big loser there. Am I? Life's not over. This one or that one might be feeling me but no one is stepping up. The one who I know is feeling me, flat out doesn't want to be with me. I have been alone for a long time. There is still hope though.

During the latter half of 2006, I managed to pay off about 43% of my 30G debt.

This year my little boy has made me very proud. Not just because he is a good child, but also because I was blessed with a glimpse of the man he is going to become.

I am presently employed. My scope is broad. I have my sights set on BIG things in the coming year.

See, that wasn't so bad. I figured why trouble you with all the gory details of me getting my ass kicked. I did enough venting throughout the year.

I have two maxims to live by this year... "Closed mouths don't get fed" and "don't talk about it, be about it."

Friday, December 29, 2006

Yahoo! Answers - How do you set up SprintPCS mail on a Pocket PC?

Yahoo! Answers - How do you set up SprintPCS mail on a Pocket PC?

I am trying to help a couple of friends set up their SprintPCS mail on their Pocket PC phones. One is using a Palm Treo 700wx and the other is using a Sprint PCS VisionSM Smart Device PPC-6700. The information I have found on the web: pop.sprintpcs.com, smtp.sprintpcs.com, and imap.sprintpcs.com don't seem to be working.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Extremely Proud Father

This morning after work I went to my son's Prep For Prep meeting. He was in his Junior Achievement session. Two completely different things.

Within Prep for Prep he has the opportunity to sharpen and build his skills. For the next two years, he will be prepped for his future and to exceed standards on every level. As most of you already know. He is already "gifted and talented." He would be taking on the Prep for Prep curriculum on in addition to his already advanced coursework. During the course of the program he will also have opportunities for trips to various parts of the country, both educational and recreational, and also chances to study abroad. He wants to go to France and England. He would be giving up 7 weeks of his summer for the next 2 years and go to sessions on Wednesdays after school and Saturdays. In all this is a huge opportunity for him.

I wish I had the opportunity to take part in something like this when I was his age. I will not force it on him, however. He has to make the choice to invest himself in program and take advantage of all of the opportunities we are trying to open up.

I woke up after my nap to a voicemail from his teacher. She wanted to tell me what a pleasure it is to work with him, how hard he is working and how proud I should be of him. Proud… understatment! I called her back a little while ago and she recognized my voice immediately. She went on to say that he is a great mathematician, an artist and a brilliant story teller.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Anonymous Comment on Assumptions

Ok, I am still not into Anonymous comments. I do however want to answer sometimes.

.::dramatizations: Slipping Into a Former Life::.:

Anonymous said...
No man can judge for another but each man must weigh all facts and circumstances and find truth to his own judgment of righteousness------if you know that why does it always feel like you are judging someone... Assumption is a form of judgement. and you are always assuming what someone is doing with their time or assuming that you know why someone isnt always hanging around you or calling. Life happens to the best of us.

I don't assume what people do with their time, but it's a fact if every day of every day of every week of every month… you have a reason. Your reasons are excuses. So I have another quote for you: Your actions speak louder than your words. Therefore I am not making assumptions, I am making observations. When I do make an assumption, feel free to point out that I made an ass of myself.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Slipping Into a Former Life

Waking up this morning, reflecting on the events of last night which kicked off my day. The year plus stint has come to an end. This wasn't the way I imagined it or the way I wanted it. Little ill kept spot with hourly rates. The room was clean tho, at least as far as the eye could tell.

Her. she was a carry over from a past incarnation of me in this lifetime. One of the best parts of then. Lately we had been talking about what we meant to each other and why we didn't stay together all those years ago. We were different people then, both trying to find our own paths, paths that would bring us to the people we are today. Our worlds are still so far apart. The window for us to be together has long passed. It just wasn't meant to be.

It never ceases to amaze me how she always get all dolled up for our late night meetings. Since we parted she gained a lot of weight, approximately a third of herself, and lost most if not all of it. Now she is about the size she was during the time we kept company. Her jeans fit so beautifully, had to ask her to twirl around for me. I used the same gesture from our first encounter, my down pointed finger drawing a little circle in the air. We laughed about how she's permanently branded with something from a moment we shared. No one else will ever hear about it. It's our secret.

I tried to wait for the person I wanted to be with but it seems that I will fall into one of two roles in a woman's life right now, with that of the emotional crutch or as some might call the "honorary boyfriend" or the "cut buddy." In any event it's I am there to patch up the broken parts of someone's life, not to be a part of it. I had the opportunity to be with someone who really wanted me, all of me. We didn't care and never have about what was going on outside of us. We were and always have just been there for each other.

I hope when you read this you understand that I am in between houses and need to find a home. If it isn't with you, I am sorry. It's our loss. I know how special you are. I know I could make you happy if you'd just let me. I am tired of fighting though. Tired of fighting my nature. Tired of fighting for a love that's never going to love me.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Choices

Love is a choice. I make the choice to love you, whether consciously or unconsciously. Conversely, I will make the decision to not love you. My love is simply the conclusion I came to after assessing who you are, who you were and who you are trying to be. If I feel that you do not realize the value of what's being gifted to you I will likely make the choice that you aren't worthy of my it and take it away.

Love for me is an action. Not physical, necessarily.

All that being said, a new friend put me on to this quote in the Bible:

Love is patient and is kind; love doesn't envy. Love doesn't brag, is not proud, doesn't behave itself inappropriately, doesn't seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil; doesn't rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

Thank you Stacey. Prior to falling in love and dealing with so much crap and then realizing that I am completely responsible for what was going on with me this what I held to be true:

'It shall be fickle, false and full of fraud,
Bud and be blasted in a breathing-while;
The bottom poison, and the top o'erstraw'd
With sweets that shall the truest sight beguile:
The strongest body shall it make most weak,
Strike the wise dumb and teach the fool to speak.

'It shall be sparing and too full of riot,
Teaching decrepit age to tread the measures;
The staring ruffian shall it keep in quiet,
Pluck down the rich, enrich the poor with treasures;
It shall be raging-mad and silly-mild,
Make the young old, the old become a child.

'It shall suspect where is no cause of fear;
It shall not fear where it should most mistrust;
It shall be merciful and too severe,
And most deceiving when it seems most just;
Perverse it shall be where it shows most toward,
Put fear to valour, courage to the coward.

'It shall be cause of war and dire events,
And set dissension 'twixt the son and sire;
Subject and servile to all discontents,
As dry combustious matter is to fire:
Sith in his prime Death doth my love destroy,
They that love best their loves shall not enjoy.'

While a lot of times love does contradict itself by nature, it doesn't have to. I have come clean recently and told a lot of people what I really think of them and some I love you. My love is not to be taken lightly. I love for the sake of love and all that I hold dear and true.

Simple Thoughts

Women who know what they want will almost never know it when it's in front of them. It seems to always escape their grasp and they continue to long for it. We who will escape into obscurity do and will always continue to loved y'all anyway.