Last Day

Hmmm! Today is the herald of my new beginning… My assignment at US Trust is over at 5 p.m. I am not sure where I'm headed from here.

I am already setting up appointments for the next gig. The one I am most anticipating is with Arnold Worldwide, an advertising agency. The aren't offering me a position, at least not at the moment, but several team members including on of their recruiters would like to meet with me and help me out with some info, leads and referrals.

I am setting up appointments with several additional temp agencies. My thinking is if Ajilon doesn't have something for me, another should.

The end of my assignment is not the only change being signaled. Overall lately I have been thinking differently. I’ve been a little more developed in my my way. Since I’ve returned to work I curse less frequently. I don’t talk as much but even when I do, I am the subtler, calmer, quieter me that I have complained of losing.

I will be developing my writing which will be reflected in this blog. My blog is my way of having fun. The things I write about aren't necessarily important to anyone other than myself. It is, however, an extension of myself and often evince my mood.

I have accepted my faults and as I would have before will adjust them. I accept also that this will take time. I sometimes get frustrated because I can't reach my goals all at once. I've allowed my accomplishments to be allayed by my shortcomings.

In all, I really have my work cut out for me.

weather 5/15/05

Didn't the weather forcasts predict rain and in some cases thunderstorms for most of last week? What gives? It rained a little bit on Thursday and a drop hit me on my hand on Yesterday. This is the forcast for 5/15-20.

Why doesn't Hello allow for uploading *.png file? Shouldn't Flickr be able to handle *.png files better? I was forced to use the *.jpg(upper right), instead of the original *.png screen capture from my mac which appeared all fudged up (screen cap to the right). 

P.O.D.

Yesterday I was having a conversation with a friend and she was playing around, so I told her to stop and then explained that I was having a moment of P.O.D. Let me explain… P.O.D. stands for Post Orgasmic Disgust. Have you ever been with someone or not and once you get yours, you desire nothing further of them? Or more specifically, you don't want to be cuddled or touched. Your emotional attachment ends when you finish and you don't care whether or not your partner does. Don't touch me, get away from me!

Metropolitan Museum of Art

Doesn't this one look like the "Millenium Puzzle" from Yugioh?

All photos in this post originally uploaded by reign4aday.

Daivon, Darrell, Lil' and M!ck3y went to The Metropolitan Museum of Art on 82^nd Street and 5^th Avenue. I loved it although I did not get to see everything I wanted to. My brother wanted to leave. I also wish I was more organized. I didn't expect to be as interested as I was. I am going back Memorial Day weekend.

Didn't I Tell You?

I did tell you I wasn't going to let anything hold me back. Still I have a lot on my plate. I have a lot of stuff I need to get done. I need to find a permanent job and ultimately get my own place. I'm tired of bouncing around. It's fine and good that I am loved and all, but I can't deal with people crap.

Haven't been blogging much lately as you can tell, I just got caught up in life.

I would first like to say congrats to Firefox. 50 Million downloads is big. It means 50 Million who didn't open IE, or even better 50 Million who used it to download Firefox. Today I requested permission to download it and was denied.

Anyway, I am enjoying being out and working everyday. I am working with several wonderful people. When I speak of them I will use the 1^st initial of their names when referring to them.

M is the person I report directly to, she is sooo busy and she always has a smile on her face. L is pregnant, her voice is so conforting to me and I love her laugh, I'm going to miss it when she goes on leave next week. They are VPs. S is the Senior VP and while I don't see her much she seems so cool. S² is the other "graphics person," as she introduced herself to me. P is the "go to" guy. He does everything. D has the softest voice I have ever heard on an adult female and T is quiet accept for when he's being spoken to or he has something to say to D.

Yesterday a PowerPoint presentation tried to kick my ass. Today I got my first "myName@companyName.com" email address.

That's all for this morning kiddies, got to go to bed.

Uneasy

I'm a little uneasy about the chain of recent events. I still don't know what I'm going to do. I guess I'm falling back on less comfortable times. Usually I do this to myself to motivate and remind myself to move on. So I guess the hustle is on and the new struggle has begun.

Tiger 05/07

Just some more on my impressions on Tiger.

Sometimes I notice things but don't know how to put it into words until I hear someone else say it and then I get that "Aha!" thing. One of those thing is how I feel about Mac OS 10.4 (Tiger).

I've noticed an overall speed boost. When I first cracked it open I remarked that it felt like I was using a brand new machine, but then I thought that can't be right, but is just like that — for me at least.

I'm glad that transparency has returned to the UI. When I got my first Powerbook, there was a transparent GIF of the Tazmanian Devil that I was fond of. I got it off of the Netscape start page of the time. I used it as my buddy icon and my account pic When I upgraded to Panther from Jaguar it was fine, but later when I did a clean install I found that transparency had disappeared, well at least for my own graphics.

This is Automator. He will become a very good friend of mine shortly. I just haven't dug into the Tiger and it's features yet. This is one of the ways Macs make things easier or so I've heard. I will add more on this later as I get into it.

iChat AV is one of my favorite upgrades. First, they stepped up the "groups" feature. I can't stand AIM for Mac. I tried using it a bit because iChat was duplicating my buddies in each group, but it made just editing the buddy list a task. The only current feature in 4.7 that might interest me is "Multi-point File Sharing." iChat feels so much better. iChat has also added features I would normally look to AIM for. You can, now, edit your AIM profile, view the profiles of others. I haven't used the camera and audio features yet.

The video quality on QuickTime 7 is insane. It's looks as good as any DVD I've played on my Powerbook, although I haven't noticed any banding in the colors that you see on some DVD's. It really does look the same when scaled up. You can even capture stills which I recall trying to do with the screen capture shortcuts in previous versions unsuccessfully. The above enhancements were available on the new HD content. I don't imagine that the regular QuickTime format can be scaled losslessly.

This is a clip from the QuickTime HD Gallery of the movie Serenity. I chose to capture this because I thought it was cool, not that she was doing a full split, but that she was doing the split on the ceiling. 

Not much really can I say. Safari RSS. I did not use the older versions of Safari accept to view "Apple" sites, DaringFireball and MacDevCenter. I can say that since I enjoy reading dated content, blogs, news articles, etc, the RSS feature comes in handy. You can sort by date, title, source and new. It even seems that Spotlight has been integrated into into the RSS search, I was getting results as I was typed words into the search field.

As you can see I am still happy with Tiger. Things are going to be a little slow given my new situation but I will try to update as often as possible.

Homeless

I just found out that I'm homeless. My mother told me I had to go.

Updated Saturday, May 07, 2005

I have decided that I'm not going to let this shake me. She is afraid of what her landlord might do.

This all started in January, when my mother complained about the lack of heat. I've been around quite a bit and stay over a lot. My brothers and mother like me around and I don' want to be at my current residence because there is a lot of foul stuff going on there. My mother explained to the landlord, Christine Young, that the situation has been the same for years with little or no change. Young replied "It's time to move on then!" I warned my mother of her intentions. Young had been renovating the downstairs apartment for weeks. She was moving in. Now if she does what she did down there for up here, she can fetch a pretty penny for this apartment. With the way rent is nowadays she could get at least $1500, my mother pays 11.

My mother got a 6 month extension on the eviction. Then she took her to court and won a $1200 settlement for the water damage to her then 5 week old mattress. Yesterday, Young's husband warned my mother "I don't like what she's doing, but she's out to get you." The lady has been doing wierd things all week. They recieved the decision by mail on Friday or Saturday.

I don't know what to do. I will figure something out though.

NMP

M!ck3y, originally uploaded by reign4aday.

This is M!ck3y. She finally let me get a picture of her. It's not bad but I've taken better of her.

She's always asked why I didn't mention her in my "Inspiration" post. Fact is, I did not have a picture of her and I was doing the things that inspired me prior to her coming into my life. Yes, she does inspire me. He has a desperate sort of happiness. Like is she doesn't smile everything ends.

Me, originally uploaded by reign4aday.

This is me, obviously. I don't know what I was thinking.

Work 2morrowday

idk what it is about Amerie, but there is definitely something about her.

I start my assignment at US Trust later this morning. I think I should get to sleep. Anyway, the challenge was a bust this past week. I realize my world is a little too small. I am starting over today. I should meet a number of new people. what do you think?

Bitten By A Tiger

Well everyone, I took the Tiger plunge. I had a pretty interesting day though.

I went out about noon, to answer a final notice for jury selection. This should have been the 1^st form, because I never got the others.

Then I trooped over to the Child Support office in the old DMV. I owe arrears, which I will not be paying anytime soon because I don't have funds flowing like that. I am paying child support for a kid that I see nearly everyday. In fact, he's with me more than he is "home." Anyhow, it was ordered to reimburse Welfare. Not necessary at all.

It took me like four (4) years to find this office and I probably lucked up, because the responsible entity changed recently to the Department of Social Services (Welfare). A friend of mine told me where to go. I was able to track down a number once upon a time, but either the phone would ring out, I was put on hold until my phone died or I'd get through and get hung up on.

Up until then the day was going pretty quickly. I didn't mention that M!ck3y was with me for the ride and in case it took all day she'd be there to keep me awake. From the Child Support office we took a long bus ride to Kings Plaza Shopping center, from here on "KP," which was completely pointless. Not only could I not find what I went there for, I forgot my money and couldn't even eat. After getting laughed at, we got back on the bus.

Made a quick stop at the junction and got four (4) cheese burgers from White Castle. When I got home I continued to back up my stuff.

No one wanted to go to the Apple Store with me. Finally Daivon decided he would go with me. We had to wait on line. I must say, the girls buying "computer stuff," were so much prettier this year. I mean the ones waiting on the Tiger line, I have seen some real gems come in and out of the store.

They were giving out "Scratch and Win" cards and no sooner than I walked in a guy with an OS X tatoo on the back of his neck won a new G4 Powerbook. He was like two (2) heads in front of me.

I decided to go with a clean install. So I'm organizing the files from my previous backups.

This my favorite widget so far. This screen capture was taken about 7pm today. It's my favorite because it's the one I'm getting the most use out of, aside from the iTunes Widget. Ha! I'm listening to Staind right now.

Anyway, I have some cleaning to do and I'm watching "Marvel's Man–Thing" on Sci Fi. 

Tiger Unleashed?

I'm Thinking about a Tiger this weekend.

Reconnecting

Yesterday was my mom's birthday. Happy Birthday, Mother! 

I just had a thought: What is it when a company punishes it's employees for being in line with it's mission statement and goals?

I just spoke to my former Assistant Manager, Danny. He seemed well. It's obvious, however, that I am not the only one who has gone through stuff over the last year. I mean, I knew this, but to hear his tale.

Even after the horrors we experienced at Kinko's, there seems to be no rest. He was terminated unjustly one (1) day before he was to go on vacation and took a job with the competition for much less than he was making. Then he was suspended and transferred by a manager that blamed him for getting demoted. He remains optimistic though. He wants to go back to school and get his Real Estates license.

We decided we were going to try to reconnect with our team–members. Well I really haven't decided whether or not I really want to though.

We learned, for sure, at Kinko's, how to slit each other's throats and the ones that would not participate in this slaughter were punished. It seemed that some of the managers were jealous that some of us had the loyalty of our team–members, unless they had our allegiance. Some of us are loyal to money, others to people… Where do your loyalties lie?

Enlightenment: Day 1 & 2

Eddie Traversa made a comment to my post, Seeking Enlightenment.

It's been two (2) days since the challenge began. So far I've learned that I am pretty objective. I generally keep to myself. I tend to notice things, because I don't take an active role in peoples lives, I am like a watcher.

My world is small anyway. I have few people in my sphere to observe and so many of them try to appease me on different levels, sometimes it't hard to know what their true agendas are.

I did find, however, over the last few days, that I am not the only screwed up individual. Some are worse than others. For me the ones that interest me the most are the ones who go thru great lengths to hide their flaws. I have always been the person to "Just do it." When there is something wrong, I will not bother with it until I can fix it. I assess my situation and my means to achieve my end. For instance, my job situation… I did not just let it beat me, I made a little money freelancing which I am putting into my cause. Since I have bigger goals, I can not stop. I will work a regular job and continue freelancing until I get to where I want to be. So few people do that, well at least of the people I know. I get upset when someone I love gives up on what they want, what they need and themselves. I am learning to accept this and move on.

"I" am enlightenment 4/20

How About Now?

This was originally posted by Eddie Traversa on his blog.

Whatever your life situation is, how would you feel if you completely accepted it as it is, right at this very moment?

Déon/Reign

This is some more stuff from 2000. One person commented that it was self–centered.

Déon–

means divine. It also has roots in Dionysus, the greek god of wine.

I am Déon. I am 24 years old and a native of Brooklyn, New York.

I am an intelligent and well grounded individual, looking to spread my wings and soar as high as possible. I believe in life's endless possibilities and that the only limits that we have are the ones we impose on ourselves.

I am normally shy, for a leo anyway. These days I'm experiencing a surge of aggression. I've been described as "dramatic" and "profound." I am also thought of as very mature for my age, but I'm really a little boy thirsting for sensations. Swift, is my tongue. That is to say that I know all the right words. It has been said I "got game."

Reaching

Son cœur est un luth suspendu;
Sitôt qu'on le touché il résonne.

(His heart is a hanging lute;
As soon as touched, it reverberates.)

De Béranger

I have reached a level of thought where I choose to concentrate on what's right about people instead of what's wrong. It is important to develop strengths, so that the weaknesses have less of an impact.

I've recently arrived at a stage in my life where I fell the need to improve every aspect of my life.

• Trying to broaden my mind by reading more.
• I realize that I have choices and that any consequences I experience are results of those choices.
• I accept the fact that I am responsible for my life and the course it runs.

I am learning a lot about myself and the world around me, new lessons from my original mistakes.

I'm not perfect, but I'm willing to try and find out if perfection is an attainable height.

The Other Me

I received the name "King" from my gym teacher in High School. My friends translated it to Reign. I found out later that I had a lot of admirers.

Reign–

royal authority; the dominion, sway, or influence of one resembling a monarch.

The wind blows… The sky darkens… I speak, "BOOM." Witness the lightning in my stare. The darkness, it envelopes me. I feel it's cold embrace.

Loneliness is my only companion. It feeds on the love I have to share.

I will feast on your body as a caterpillar does a leaf. Then I will spin a crystallis and fly out something you want.

Her

I wrote this in about 2000. I've been finding that a lot of people have been asking about my old homepage. I decided to reformat some of the content for "Dramatizations." Aside from the markup, it will appear as it originally did.

What I'm looking for is…

…is a woman who knows what she wants. Someone to be my friend always. Someone who hasn't any inhibitions, but who has enough sense to know her limits. A lady. One who can motivate me to reach for the stars, like the ones in her eyes.

Mouthful of Poison: Ripe?

Things growing are not ripe until their season,
So I, being young, till now ripe not to reason.
And, touching now the point of human skill,
Reason becomes the marshal to my will,
And leads me to your eyes, where I o'erlook
Love's stories written in love's richest book.

A Midsummer Night's Dream by William Shakespeare

I am always asked what it is I like. Let me start by saying, I love everything that makes a woman, a woman.

• Her hair, whether it be short or long, curly or strait…
• Her lips, full and rich… the way they taste, the way she sucks on mine or my earlobe.
• The scent of her neck. The emotion evoked when I get close and breath on it or kiss it.
• A supple pair of breasts cupped gently in my hands. Rubbing her nipples 'til they're rigid. Making circles around them with my tongue or sucking them.
• The way her body curves, her waist into her hips into her thighs. I like 'em thick in the middle. There are few pleasures as great as a pair of thighs wrapped… ummmmm, maybe too much information (but you get the picture, don't you?).
• The way she makes her booty go "dunta, dunta."
• Feet. Small, smooth, clean. Well, uh, I like to play with 'em.

To me, the most important outward features are her eyes and her smile.

• A nice smile warms a cold heart. Confident and sincere. Soft and seductive.
• Back to the stars in her eyes… I don't feel there is any greater beauty on our plane of existence.

I need someone I can mesh with mentally. She has to have goals and values. Someone whose going to be an extra incentive to waking up in the morning and a reward for coming home at night.

All things coming together are woman. From her heavenly gaze to the sway of her hips.

Fate

I don't remember where this came from, maybe it was me, maybe someone else. It was on my personal page.

Be prepared for the unexpected.
Concentrate, mind and body as one.
Achieve tranquility through movement.
Integrate spirit and flesh.
Channel the powers; focus the mind.

Cleanse the soul.
Release that which is negative.
Separate darkness and light.

Give birth to myself — once through knowledge.
Define my existence — once through emotion.
Create my divination — one with the heavens.

From strength learn gentleness.
Through gentleness, strength will prevail.

What is it I see just beyond my reach?
I see my fate!

When It Hurt So Bad (2000)

This was a friend's way of expressing her affection towards me. It was a long time ago and I knew her only briefly. I remember the long, late night talks, her almond–shaped eyes, the fullness of her lips, the way her hips swayed when she tried to get my attention and all her wonderful curves.

I’ve loved real hard ones,
But the love wasn’t returned.
Found out the man I’d die for,
He wasn’t concerned.
I tried, and I tried, and I tried
To keep him in my life.
I cried and I cried
But I couldn’t make it right.

But I loved a young man,
And if u ever been in love
Than you’ll understand.
What you want might make you cry,
And what you need might pass you by

What you need ironically might turn out
What you want to be, if you just let it

See I thought this feeling
It was all that I had
But how could this be love
And make me feel so bad
Gave all my power,
I existed for you
But who ever knew
The voodoo you do

When it hurt so bad, why does it feel so good?(sic)

From Jen (02/2005)

This was sent to me by a long time friend, Jen. She can write, I think she should be published.

Good night, sweet prince. I shall weep at your departure. I have searched for you all of my life. I have checked under subway benches and bus stops. I have played peekaboo against abandoned building waiting to catch a glimpse of your shadow. I’ve jumped inside barren trenches and gone underground on the slight chance that you were sharing living quarters wih the ground hog.

I have climbed rooftops and scaled high-rises in search of you. I have simmered in seedy clubs and bathed in bad associations because I truly believed you were there - I just thought you were scared and hiding.

I have jeopardized myself chasing trains that I thought you had boarded. I’ve grabbed the tail end of planes, fearing you may have landed and taken off before you found me. I have traveled the globe in hopes I would recognize your face and then I have gone back again fearful that I missed you the first time around.

I have peered through eyeglasses,looking glasses and magnifying glasses searching for your foot prints.I have even enlisted the help of physics to convince me you exist.

I have gazed into the eyes of other womens husbands and boyfriends wondering “Could it be you?” And I wondered if you had missed me all together be accident. I have traced steps on cemetery grounds on morbid days believing you have already come and gone, and would never come again and thought perhaps THAT was the real reason for your no-show status

I’ve stolen peeks through picture windows at dinner time staring at the back of his head, and his head, begging you to JUST TURN AROUND.

I have pulled double duty at bridal showers and weddings. Standing up for her and in for the other. I have watched ever one I know celebrate the arrival of her prince, every one but me.

Good night, sweet prince I shall weep at youe departure. If you came, I didnt see you. If you spoke, I didnt hear you. And if you loved me once upon a time,I guess I didnt love you back the same.

Good night sweet prince.
Good night.
It’s time for me to move on with my life and experience an new day.
A real day.
My first day with out craving you (sic)