It's Just Whatever!

Me_3007, originally uploaded by Dramatic. My tee reads:

"In the wake of exhaustion
Through the eyes of non-believers
One thing is certain...

Keep Grindin'"

Keeping It Moving

Now is the time to make our move, baby. Yesterday is gone forever and tomorrow will never come. What say you? You know who i am talking to.

No more moves to make. All moves are on hold. Redirecting my energies to guaranteed results.

My heart has no desires right now. Can't stand the disappointment anymore. Everything I wanted is out of my reach. So I am gonna throw on my favorite jeans and keep it moving. I don't intend to have a moment of weakness, no need for any reflections, apologies are not necessary. It is what it is like I said before.

For now all I want to do is get my little travel on. Some people want to see me and I need to get out of the city, see and do new things. I have never really travelled and when I did manage to get away, I never got to do anything. Maybe someday I will get to chill with "Sonny" in Hawaii. I hope to go to Brazil with John someday. I have a few places I want to go. I am going to start small and go a few random places this fall.

My debt seems to be coming under control. So there is room for me to do a little more. I need to just be like fuck it and relax.

Yahoo! Answers - Are there any simple text and email devices like Ogo?

Yahoo! Answers - Are there any simple text and email devices like Ogo?:

I am looking for a device that simply does text messaging and email like Ogo. No voice, no nothing. Simple bare text and email.

Not So Random Thoughts

• I am about to walk away from a lot of things and people
• My heart has no desires at the moment
• I am getting better

I fell a little short this year

I got caught up in the other aspects of my life. Had to focus more on getting a job and now clearing off my debt, both of which are shaping up quite nicely.

At times I am a little overwhelmed because things are moving so fast these days. I slow myself down too by trying to do everything at once and then I get a bit discouraged because I did not meet all of my goals. I do realize that the restraints I place on myself are a bit unrealistic. I am slowing down and learning to pace myself. I am doing better and not being “Superman” anymore doesn’t bother me as much.

See more progress on: Be reborn into the sunshine

A Few Random Thoughts

Why do you complain of your fate when you could so easily change it?

• I am a few hundred dollars short this month, not a problem. Got tricks!
• Could be out of debt as early as Christmas 2007
• Women spit as much "G" as men
• I stopped taking numbers. I rarely call. I give mine instead. No pressure
• September 20 made it one year
• A couple hundred people come to my blog every week and no one comments

Update: Tuesday, September 19, 2006

0906, originally uploaded by Dramatic. (1) Estimated

September isn't over yet so it is still estimated. So far this is where I have been, where I am and where I expect to be over the next few months.

Over the next month I will pay off a significant portion of my debt and kill 3 bills and reduce one by approximately half. I have put the results in an accountancy table for you to view.

See more progress on: get out of debt

Hurting

This weekend I held a baby. She just turned 3 months old. Her mother is a crack addict. She tried to kill her oldest sister (8 years old) out of paranoia this past weekend. It hurt me so much to hold and look at the baby. I just can't understand why anyone couldn't find the strength to do right in their children. The middle sister had a birthday this Saturday. Things were so screwed up for them, no one even noticed. I did not know how to console the oldest, her only concern was that the baby was OK, another case of having to grow up too fast.

I knew their mother since I was like 12. She is 3 years older than me. I know deep down she is a good person. I just feel that even though she may have been set on the wrong path, at some point it becomes your responsibility to find your way back. She has given up so much for her addiction.

I am thankful for my mother. She has been clean for 14 years. I have at least one more reason to stay on the "right path." I am proud that so many things my son may hear about but will never experience. Some of us are lucky like that. I wish it were the norm.

911: 5 Years Ago

Here is my entry among the myriad of 911 posts. 5 years ago today I was at work, then Kinko's. Then everything just went mad. People running uptown screaming. No one really knew what was up. We were all trying to use our cell phones and got no signals.

When we finally started hearing bits and pieces, I just wanted to make sure my son was OK. I didn't know what happened until I got home, like 8pm -- I had been trying since about noon. Had to take a round about route.

Son... Check! Destiny... Where the fuck is Destiny? OK got a call a little while after that. Got a lift with some girl she worked with and her boyfriend, was hold up at her house all day. "Can I take a cab? I want to be with you."

Nothing really like hit me until the next morning when I went to Junior's to get all of us some breakfast and had to console the girl that was taking my order. Her aunt was lost. It didn't even hit home when I tried to go to work and Deon and Destiny were crying for me to stay.

So many lives lost. So many families broken. So many conspiracy theories born. Just remember! This is one more piece of history that I will never be able to show my son. This is New York, we picked up the pieces and kept it moving, but we never forgot.

Today, I work just over the bridge from Ground Zero. I pass it every morning as I leave work.

QOD

Fly on the wall: "We can tune afterward":

Can anything be more idiotic than certain people who boast of their foresight? They keep themselves officiously preoccupied in order to improve their lives; they spend their lives in organizing their lives. They direct their purposes with an eye to a distant future. But putting things off is the biggest waste of life: it snatches away each day as it comes, and denies us the present by promising the future. The greatest obstacle to living is expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow and loses today. You are arranging what lies in Fortune’s control, and abandoning what lies in yours. What are you looking at? To what goal are you straining? The whole future lies in uncertainty: Live immediately.

Windows bitching
Jason: “man working in windows is such a mess…the UI is just terrible…and all the apps UIs are terrible…the type is terrible…it’s amazing.”

Along similar lines, David pointed out this quote from Jaded Pixel: “Working with Windows makes me feel dead inside.”

Deposit Please

In a previous post, Debt Defying that I had posted a PayPal "Donate" button on my blog. This is the case, but I am not just asking for money. In fact, monetary donations or not I assure everyone that I will meet my goals on or about the time I designated.

I said every little bit counts. You can contribute in the form advice too. This may be more beneficial in the long run anyway. If I can amend my habits and help my family do the same, even prepare my son to be better financially responsible. If you have any advice, please share it.

It was brought to my attention that no one would care to "give" me money when I have a job. I understand this and I respect it.

Right now, my immediate concerns are how to save for both myself and my son with everything I am trying to accomplish. I mean he may have educational expenses and other things that he might need my help with. I don't feel he should have to go through this with me, so I am trying my best to shield him from it. I want him to know the values of being responsible and hard word, but he should not have a clean slate to work with.

Shredding

Going through lots of stuff. Letting go of the last bits of a past life, I am happy to close the door on.