Hurting

This weekend I held a baby. She just turned 3 months old. Her mother is a crack addict. She tried to kill her oldest sister (8 years old) out of paranoia this past weekend. It hurt me so much to hold and look at the baby. I just can't understand why anyone couldn't find the strength to do right in their children. The middle sister had a birthday this Saturday. Things were so screwed up for them, no one even noticed. I did not know how to console the oldest, her only concern was that the baby was OK, another case of having to grow up too fast.

I knew their mother since I was like 12. She is 3 years older than me. I know deep down she is a good person. I just feel that even though she may have been set on the wrong path, at some point it becomes your responsibility to find your way back. She has given up so much for her addiction.

I am thankful for my mother. She has been clean for 14 years. I have at least one more reason to stay on the "right path." I am proud that so many things my son may hear about but will never experience. Some of us are lucky like that. I wish it were the norm.