Once Trust Is Broken

The first thing most of my friends find out about me is that I don't have many friends. Most of my friends chose me to be their friend. Whether it was because we had similar interests or I had something they wanted or admired something about me.

I have few friends because first and foremost I am a loner by nature. I grew up and have lived with the mentality that all I needed was me and my girlfriend. Which in most cases still holds true. I am realizing lately that I need people to get by. Whether it be for networking which I might have a hidden or dormant knack for or just that person that will always be there when you need that shoulder.

Friendship is on my mind today because I was betrayed by someone I considered a close friend. I mean when you let people get close and they turn their backs on you, it's a form of betrayal, isn't it? My trust is broken. Now after shedding some light on the situation, you want to apologize. Tell me I am right, you were wrong, yada, yada, yada. I mean, you tried to hurt me. You didn't do it indirectly. You tried to get at me. I have made some mistakes and I have apologized for my indiscretions. I repent. People do make mistakes. I never caused anyone injury, emotionally, physically or otherwise, purposely.

Your intention was to do me harm. You can not be sorry. You weight the pros and cons and sought to do away with me. Can I forgive you? Maybe. Will I? Not sure yet. There is little mercy in my heart for people who try to hurt people who love them. Yes, I loved you. You proved unworthy. I always told you the worse thing I could do to someone is to let them go. I don't think that after being betrayed, a trust can be regained.

I am proud that I elevated you to the level of courage you have now. I tried to teach you to choose your battles. No matter what, I wish you all the best still. I will not forget the love and the friendship that once was. Sometimes all one has are their memories.