I'm Sick!

Not feeling well. I got this cold earlier this week. My nostrils are on fire, my tongue hurts. I am congested. I have a runny nose. I've been getting frequent headaches, that hurt to the point where my vision is blurred. M!ck3y and Stephanie are not helping these headaches any. I feel like I'm being pushed and pulled. I'm so tired of arguing. I don't even know how to let them know how I feel about all of this, I just get quiet.

I woke up this morning with Stephanie sitting on me. Then I heard she went to sleep laying on me. When I woke up again she was wedged between the back of the couch and myself. We hadn't spoken to each other all day, up until about an hour or so ago, when we had a minor argument.

I was supposed to be seeing M!ck3y today. She hasn't called or come. I don't even think she knows how sick I am right now. She and I was supposed to be throwing up a few pages about her Sophomore Class President Campaign. In the process she'd learn a little more HTML. Just got a call from her, she couldn't make it.

I haven't been eating. I kinda chose to do so, I want to alter my eating habits. I am trying to wean myself to 900 calories for a while. I want to drop down to between 250 and 225 lbs. and have a 40-42" waist. Right now I'm a flabby 285 lbs. with a 44-46" waist. My composition fluctuates. I did loose around 50 lbs. possibly more this summer, so I'm down from about 335. I am kinda disgusted right now, I just saw a picture of myself in my skivvies and it was gross. I know some of you think me being pudgy or whatever you call it at the moment is cute, but it isn't me. I am not comfortable this way. I never have been. I just never really did anything about it. My physiology always just seemed to change during the warmer months. Whether I am active or not — with the exception of last year, when I was very active — and I loose weight.

Sick of sitting in this sty. I started cleaning up last night and couldn't continue. I feel like I'm doing it all alone. No matter how much I clean up it seems like so much more is dirtied in it's place.

Anyhow, I am going to rest my throbbing head.