What is it this time?

Warning: I am just going to write from the heart, exactly as I would say it if I were speaking to you.

All the things I say, so much more I would like to, but there aren't words for everything. I started my day... My day started off right. Very nice. Even tho yesterday I slept through my alarm, I woke up in time to get to work on time and had time to relax in the shower, didn't have to rush or anything. While I was on the way to work called a friend and apologized for not calling her the day before, told her that I had been trying to reach her since 6:30 a.m. Then much to my surprise another friend called, we kinda just reconnected and all of that. Had a very pleasant but brief conversation, her phone was dying so the convo ended as I sat down to work.

Clocked in. Went to the front for some work, not much there. Did a minor QC, made my notes. Went back to the front. Told to go see Mary, had some logos to be traced. OMG, an easy night, not that I mind working. The whole graphics thing is just in my element. I am experiencing a bit of creativity block so I am not creating as much. I have ideas but can't seem to bring them to life. Tracing, tracing, tracing all night... which essentially means I was just fucking around. For me tracing logos, especially since I don't really know Corel is like playing for me. I am in it for the experience. Finding new things and new ways of doing old things. I fuckin' love that shit.

Listening to my shuffle. Laughing at how it seems toplay all the music relevant to my life right now. Had chicken parm from that accursed place with pasta. It always give me gas. I was, however, famished, starving, whatever. I was also laughing at how all day yesterday, people been telling me that I don't sound like I look. People who have known me for a while. The most amusing comment was that I look all ghetto but talk proper. I was also laughing about how Sherita, Ms. Writer Chick, says "talk." She has a very unique accent. I did not speak to her last night tho.

About a quarter to 7, I started bothering Octavia. I so adore her. No matter how mean she is trying to be, she makes me laugh. She always smiles when she is about to start trouble. I used to sit behind her so we used to bother each other all the time. Sat down and messed with Willie via inter-office chat. I was actually bothering everyone once I set to go on break. I been holding my breaks until the very end. Not sure why, I just been doing so.

My mother talks too much, making me sick right now.

Off subject. I come home about 15 minutes early to do my normal after work ritual and change clothes to rush off to Lil's school. My Minimee is going to Junior High School. Looking at schools for the gifted kids... Proud father am I. While I was on the train I realized that, by looking at the paper, flier again that it's not today. It's not until next month. Come home. Not quite relieved, not getting to sleep early. I am going to run out to see if I can buy my Tickets for Horrorfest this weekend.

Well I am not feeling to hot. I am wondering if loving someone is worth it at this point. To me, one person in particular is worth it, even tho I know she may never feel like I do. I am a fad to most women. They seem to be fascinated with me for a very brief period of time then poof, almost as tho I don't exist anymore. I feel like I had my one shot at love and I let it go. What it took to get to that choice is a sad story in it self. Natasha, will say, even swear that Destiny loved me. I am not so sure. I think I love someone else now. I will not tell her. She doesn't seem to be "feeling" me any more. I mean, I am being ambiguous on purpose, "feeling" me can be any number of people. I don't feel people like that. When I do I tend to seek their attention. Not getting it. Feeling like there's something wrong.